A year of magnificent highs and crashing lows – by Andy Yates
I was going to write a fairly down beat blog this afternoon, having had a few issues lately I was beginning to feel I may not be able to put a positive spin on things but do you know what? It helps to write about the good things in your life as opposed to the matters that drag you down.
My son William, for instance, was genuinely upset this morning because I didn’t allow him to prick my finger, a job he takes much pride in. Finn, my youngest, decided to jump on my face and smother his snot-filled nostrils across my cheek, I’m unaware of the carb value of snot but I’m hoping it is low – his affection made me smile and removed the anxiety and worry I had had in the middle of the night when at 3.1 I was feeling pretty low on more than one front.
The drop in the night is a difficult one; do you play safe at a bedtime 10.6 and have a snack, or do you think to yourself, I could wake up with a perfect 6.0 if I go snack-less but then I have the worry of going too low and paying the Glucose Compensation Fine at 2.21am. I really do love half a banana and a swig of orange juice having just been dreaming about being told off by my wife for going low in the night and making her get me a snack and not quite understanding at the time if this was actually a dream or really happening…….it goes on…..(Disclaimer: My wife has never told me off in the middle of the night for going low!)
Truth is, if I could get the balance right more consistently then I’d be ok, but it’s really difficult and I’m certainly not someone to give in to anything but I’m finding these set backs are taking a toll on my mental health as much, if not more than my physical health. Is a blog a cry for help, a forum to vent these frustrations, anxieties, worries and experiences or both?
My initial piece had its tone set by my realisation that I’m due to see another specialist about another ailment and so it went… Do you ever look back on a year and think “Blooming ‘eck, I’ve been through a lot this year, let’s hope next year brings some better luck, better health and renewed optimism”?
This year has felt like a real slog, filled to the brim with magnificent highs and crashing lows, I’m realistic and I understand and appreciate there are millions of people in much worse condition than myself, but I’ve just about had enough of this year with regard to my overall health, from skull fractures to frozen shoulders, abscesses and general feelings of crappyness – I’m quite happy to forget this year.
Out of this doom I have seen my beautiful children prosper, my wife has helped take care of me, supported me and been an amazing (cliché alert!!) ROCK throughout my ups and downs and I am now on the cusp of entering a new world of Insulin Therapy which promises to change my life beyond what I can at present really imagine.
I am looking forward to this new adventure and hope to share with you my experiences. I mean can it be a bad thing to be able to see your glucose readings minute by minute, will I essentially become one of those people who is constantly looking down at their device except this one just shows numbers, whereas those ‘other’ people are on FB, Tweet Twoo or gambling?!