Honestly, it will all be fine – by Natalie Welsh
So it’s just over eight months down the line now, and wow how time has flown! There’s been good times, well, as good as diabetes ever gets, and well bad times, which I have interacted with more than too often these past few weeks.
Being at university, it sounds like the good life, and don’t get me wrong it is, but with an added pressure of diabetes, it can get tough. It’s overwhelming, and of course most type 1’s are diagnosed at an early stage in life, me being 19, it couldn’t have came at a worse time. University life equates to a lot of drinking, poor eating habits (but those cheap noodles are a bargain) and of course, a number of late nights, sleeping until mid afternoon and plenty of power naps in between. All of which, don’t bound too well with diabetes. Even with tedious amounts of care and strict control, diabetes can still not produce the results you want to see, it’s complicated and problematic and gets you down.
Trawling across the internet I discovered something called ‘Diabetes burnout.’ This is a term which is given to those with diabetes who become tired and frustrated with managing their diabetes. It’s overwhelming and it’s tiring.
I can quite fully believe that I submitted to this. It was like the penny had dropped. Mentally, physically, and emotionally it’s draining, affecting every aspect of life. After crying buckets and then rivers, it took me a while to even wonder why I got so upset, half the time I didn’t even have a reason.
After failing to measure my blood glucose levels for days upon days, missing short term insulin doses when eating, binging on foods I knew I shouldn’t , it became too much. First being diagnosed, I was scared and worried and knew nothing about the medication but I knew I had to do it, as this soon wore off and a few months down the line, I could kind of guess how much or as little insulin I realistically needed and could get away with.
I knew this wasn’t me and it wasn’t right. There was so much stress and too much pressure, and instead of dealing with it, I avoided it. Anything to do with it I just didn’t want to know. It wasn’t until my boyfriend became worried and my dismissive attitude that I realised that I needed to take my health and diabetes more serious. It was as easy as that to turn everything around and ever since then I’ve been as good as ever! I just wanted to put out there, that this is such a complex life-long condition that is so difficult and there are going to be times of feeling down and life is hard enough as it is without this but it’s important to keep control and be strong!